This song is about the beauty in giving of what we have, rather than taking hold of and selfishly conserving it, whether it’s your property, talents, love, affection, wisdom, etc.
It’s about how our best efforts at dreams and desires can still be the most broken attempts at creating a kingdom on Earth, because these kingdoms fade away, but true love transcends space and time. From this rubble new dreams can be rebuilt that play a part in something so much bigger than ourselves. It’s about how our hands are most full when we continue to empty them out into others.
This song basically holds my hope for this website.
I went to Florida to pursue my dreams of making music, and while that dream in and of itself is a good one, it’s motives were quite shallow, as the impact only went as far as myself. It was my dream with my agenda. I had no battle to fight, no one to fight for, it had no purpose to exist other than to serve, well, me.
This is where God really began to break me. I needed something else, something bigger, a better reason why.
I have followed Christ for nearly my whole life, but it’s funny how in our pursuit of Him, sometimes we are actually pursuing what we want through Him. We want the fruits, not the tree. We want what Jesus can give us, not Jesus. This is the deciding factor between those that connect to the vine and remain in Him, and those that depart once they have received what they want.
One thing I learned up front- God is smarter than that. He sees our hearts and what we are really after, there is no fooling Him, only fooling ourselves. #derp.
There is no freedom in this lifestyle of self-servanthood, only fear of losing what we have, and a greed hungry for more. We forget our God-given identity and look to our works, bank accounts, and trophy walls for comfort and a sense of purpose, but we are atrophying as we hold onto the past, afraid to let go and move forward.
In this lifestyle of holding my blessings, relationships, and dreams with a clenched fist, I actually began to squeeze the life out of them, to suffocate them, and they became burdens rather than gifts. What was meant to be an enjoyable form of worship became a chore-like job, and it slowly stopped flourishing.
This is not our Father’s intention, and being the loving Father He is, He does not endorse behavior that destroys His children. My drive for these things began to dwindle, but it wasn’t because I didn’t love music, or the people in my life, it was my idolatrous prioritization of these good things that made them unhealthy in my life.
Last year I handed over my biggest dreams with open hands, and I feel alive again in ways I thought had died long ago. It isn’t me running the show anymore, because it isn’t and never was about me or for me.
I’m gonna use my “phone-a-friend” option to finish this blog, so here is Tozer, an absolute samurai wordsmith, to explain everything I am trying to say only with a higher IQ level-
A.W. Tozer- “There can be no doubt that this possessive clinging to things is one of the most harmful habits in the life. Because it is so natural it is rarely recognized for the evil that it is; but its outworkings are tragic.
We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety; this is especially true when those treasures are loved relatives and friends. But we need have no such fears. Our Lord came not to destroy but to save. Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed. Our gifts and talents should also be turned over to Him. They should be recognized for what they are, God’s loan to us, and should never be considered in any sense our own. We have no more right to claim credit for special abilities than for blue eyes or strong muscles. “For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive?” The Christian who is alive enough to know himself even slightly will recognize the symptoms of this possession malady, and will grieve to find them in his own heart. If the longing after God is strong enough within him he will want to do something about the matter. Now, what should he do? “- The Pursuit of God
I am thankful God loves His children enough to let their selfish dreams fall apart when they are going down the wrong road, because He knows what we REALLY want, and it usually isn’t what we think we want. He knows the difference between our dreams and our destiny. Trust Him in that. Trust Him in your successes AND failures. Trust Him in His ability to make beauty from ashes. Only this year have I ever thanked God for failure, because I now know He didn’t want me to succeed at certain things that wouldn’t better me or glorify Him most. Jeremiah 29:11